Week 12: Soften
Passing 400,000 COVID-19 deaths around the world, we are confronted by a clear example of our humanity and mortality. We, people, are both the greatest threat to each other's health and our only chance of survival. There is no perfect path to move us forward, rather we are stranded on our planet together. We are both strengthened and softened- reminded of our flaws, and given time to sort through them. As we grieve and mourn, let us move forward with more kindness, understanding, and connection with all others.
Curated by Pam Marlene Taylor and Kaylan Buteyn.
Click photos below to see more detail.
What have you learned about softness in the past 12 weeks?
Tamsin Wilson: I’ve been saying to friends and family “you need to be kind to yourself” during this pandemic. Gentleness is essential when you’re taught to be hard on yourself, and you’re in a difficult situation. Your kindness must now be used for the benefit of others, for them to survive in an impossible situation. This needs to be the focus of your thoughts and actions.
Melissa Huang: I’ve always appreciated softness, in these past twelve weeks even more. Things that are soft that I treasure: my cat, who has learned how to enjoy gentle belly rubs in quarantine; my husband, who is always ready to comfort and hold me; my bed, which is seeing more naps than ever.
April Wright: I believe that softness can come in the most unexpected ways during the most fragile of times. Whether it be a kind word from a friend just when you need it, an act of generosity or just a listening ear while I figure out how to adapt to this uncertainty with a steady footing.
Ellen VanderMyde: I learned that softness and vulnerability come more easily with the world quiet and slow. I can lean into feeling and give myself time to ponder. With every beam of light and blooming flower, I've developed a new tenderness for the world.
Aarthi Haig: I have learned that I will become a threat to my well being if I don’t maintain a soft, compassionate attitude towards myself. I don’t need to work myself to the point of exhaustion to prove my strength. True strength lies in recognizing my needs and taking action to meet them. A simple act such as going to bed when my kids do a couple nights a week (and ignoring the unfolded laundry and unwashed dishes) has been giving me the rest I need to show up as my best self, as often as possible. Despite the current challenges of working full time from home while caring for my kids and navigating a divorce, I’ve consciously been allowing myself room to pause. I’m remembering what true self compassion looks and feels like. I’m seeing the importance of being soft yet strong for my children as they witness the final chasm between their parents. Soft doesn’t mean weak. Softness leads to the type of strength that lasts the test of time. Embracing that concept has naturally shown up in my most recent artwork. I’ve intuitively been using softer colors and creating more space for viewers to rest their eyes.
Laura Klopfenstein: My family flew an American flag on Memorial Day 2020 in honor of those who served. We also hang it every year in honor of a beloved family member, a war veteran, who we lost to PTSD at a young age. We forgot to take it down after the holiday and this video was taken during the height of the recent protests. I felt and still feel physically sick about George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and unfortunately so many others. This has to stop, forever. At this moment in time, what the American flag embodies is a shadow. And a lie. We are a shadow of what we could be, what we are capable of. Some of us are evolving and capable of positive contributions to society, while some are stuck in a dark past and celebrate ignorance. Like it or not, we share custody of our physical, emotional and spiritual space. Stop killing black people, America. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. At the end of the video, the shadow of the flag turns menacing. In my mind, it looks like a Venus flytrap about to eat its prey or a predator about to bite or strike. America chews people up and spits them back out. It’s time to acknowledge this, for people to look at the truth not the myth, and to look each other in the eye as equals. The Offenders and the Intolerant need to turn off of the noise, be still and listen. What is it in your heart that makes you so cruel? Please soften and move forward with kindness and open hearts so that all communities and individuals have the right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Kate Martinez: To me, softness means a release of self and my way of thinking that I hold on so tightly to. It means letting my guard down, letting others in. It means being open, listening, letting others have the space to speak and be heard. Ultimately, I think softness means having compassion, and choosing to act on it. In this time of self-isolation, it has been hard to remain relationally vulnerable, because I feel so physically vulnerable. However, after spending so much time cut off, I can feel the importance of vulnerability and connection with others deep in my bones. There is no event that has been experienced globally like this, and I think there is no better entry point for compassion than vulnerability in a collective, shared experience.
Alexis Hill: I’m beginning to learn how to hold those two things at once: being critical and being soft. It’s strange to be in a time where action and harsh reevaluation are happening so much in isolation. It’s easy to forget to be soft with ourselves and remember who and what we love. It can feel indulgent to appreciate and take time with objects and rituals of softness, but taking care isn’t always at odds with taking action. I seek texture, softness, and warmth when I feel alone.
Maria Ntrougia: Softness is a way to be more fluid and flexible and this can be a very liberating sense. During the last 12 weeks, I have spent a lot of time meditating and thinking about my choices and needs. However, the most important thing is that I have given myself the chance to re-connect and try to find the reasons that led me to be distant with my deepest self. I feel very grateful that the universe has put a pause in our hectic lives. This is the greatest opportunity to digest everything that has happened and move forward in a more conscious way.