Week 8: To You
What was likely a novelty only two months ago has all too quickly become the norm; birthdays, holidays, religious ceremonies, and other important (or unimportant) events are being celebrated in isolation, through devices, with homemade parades- a spectrum of unusual and creative initiatives to be "closer" while physically apart. While this shift is certainly a cause for anxiety, it has also allowed the space needed to recognize what we took for granted, before.
Curated by Pam Marlene Taylor and Kaylan Buteyn.
Click photos below to see more detail.
How have you marked special occasions in quarantine and what celebration rituals did you miss the most?
Debra Broz: My 39th birthday happened in mid-March just as people in LA were getting really concerned about the virus. I usually don’t do anything big, but this year I’d planned to have a bunch of friends come out for drinks, and I was pretty excited about having a fun, social birthday. The day before my birthday I realized that it probably wasn’t going to happen how I envisioned. I ended up turning 39 at my studio with a bottle of wine and takeout from one of my favorite restaurants, group-texting with the people I’d invited out for drinks. I didn’t necessarily miss any specific rituals--I got the same cards, and calls from friends and family far away that I always have. But 2019 had been a complicated year for me and I had been thinking of this birthday--the last year of my 30s--as a marker for a year that would be better, smoother, and more focused on myself. Maybe it still is that- but it’s definitely not what I was envisioning.
Zoe Freney: It feels like I have had no special occasions during this time of pandemic. Instead, each day has blurred into the next, until I am not even sure how many days and weeks we have been living like this. Like a monotonous landscape, there are no defining features to help me orient myself. However, my husband, two sons and I have developed some new, small rituals, like walking the dogs together in the morning. These fit into our lives in this reduced landscape, and make it spacious.
Laura Wennstrom: One of the most difficult parts of quarantine is that there are no calendar events to look forward to, and little differentiates one day from the next. Although I cannot point to one large event that has been cancelled, it is the accumulation of small missings. I miss the ritual of dropping my daughter off at preschool in the morning or taking my kids to library story time. I miss the escape of stopping at the thrift store while out running errands. We all miss our friends. However, we are forced to explore our neighborhood in new ways. We’ve taken to going on extra long walks and having picnics in the cemetery and are getting to know our neighbors and noticing ducks and flowers. The emergence of spring has been the greatest and most hopeful celebration of life in a difficult time.
Makenzie Morrow: Everyday is special. I am grateful for my health, and the friendship of my roommates. On nice days we dress up and soak up the warmth of spring. I do miss the company of my family, FaceTiming isn’t quite as comforting as a physical hug. But I am thankful for their health and their practice of social distancing. I am looking forward to the day I can share a cocktail in a room full of all of those I love!
Emily Newman: We haven’t had any birthday celebrations yet, those are coming up at the end of May and June. Suggestions on how to make an 8-year old’s birthday memorable in the time of quarantine are welcome! We celebrate May Day and surprisingly, it is a celebration that works well with sheltering in place. I love the meaning as both a welcoming of Spring and worker’s rights day. Our family took on the tradition of May Day baskets- leaving one, anonymously, hanging on every neighbor’s door on our block (and we include my son’s school friends). This year we gave tomato plants grown from my dad’s seed stash, wrote a little note on how to care for them, and my son drew a funny comic that we copied and placed as a handle for each paper basket. We delivered 24 baskets this year, although we weren’t so anonymous as everyone was home! It felt good to create something nice for our neighbors while celebrating our earth and reflect on our collective achievements as workers.
Erika Lee Sears: I think what I miss the most is the freedom of being to go anywhere.
Anna Rotty: Special occasions have transitioned to Zoom hangouts, gathering in little boxes of connection. My Dad’s 60th birthday family vacation was reduced to a virtual party. He joked he’ll just turn 60 next year instead, revising his own timeline to better fit the situation at hand. My partner and I have created new, seemingly small rituals to celebrate each day. We cook together, go for long walks, talk to our families on the other side of the country much more than we did before. It’s helpful to create something new to mark time and find joy in the simple things. I mostly miss the moments that are experienced in person together - the more nuanced subtle moments that can’t be retold as a narrative.
Leah Puttkammer: During quarantine I have celebrated birthdays of dear friends as well as my own, Passover, and birth of our closest friends’ baby. We found ways to make every occasion special, perhaps even more than usual realizing how necessary the celebration of life is. The ritual that I found myself missing the most was our yearly Passover Seder with friends and loved ones. Since the beginning of mine and my husband’s relationship, Passover has played a significant role in my life. In the beginning, he wooed me over his homemade Matzah Ball soup attesting to it’s magical hangover cure capacities. In the years after, we spent the holiday with our dearest friends imbibing too much, honoring the past, and promising to make the world a better place in the year to come as we sang Prince of Egypt songs long into the night. After moving to Nashville, we would often return to Ross’s family home’s bedoin tented basement, in costume of course, to join family in the their traditions. This year we marked the occasion with a Zoom seder where our family gathered together, sang out of sync, and shared laughter and hope. In answering this question, I have realized how even our “rituals” have progressed as life has changed. This year was only another step in that evolution which makes it more like past years than perhaps I realized.
Grace Porter: For myself, I have purposefully turned my porch studio into more of a place of solace that I celebrate and pilgrimage to daily. For others, I have marked their special occasions by making sure to they feel incredibly loved on their day, despite the hovering sadness that our normalcy is gone at the moment. I miss hugging someone on their birthday. I miss having good food and drinks at a restaurant for someone’s birthday. I miss going to a dive bar to hear a band play on someone’s birthday. I miss going to a museum to look at the latest exhibit on someone’s birthday.