Week 6: Fidget
Our bodies betray us as we put on brave faces and explain how adjusted we’ve become to concerned loved ones. Our minds may have accepted this new normal, but we find our bodies dragging behind. Biting nails, grinding teeth, tapping feet, and fidgeting, stress and anxiety demand our attention; pulling on our clothes like bored toddlers only to be quieted when nourished and nurtured.
Curated by Pam Marlene Taylor and Kaylan Buteyn.
Click photos below to see more detail.
How has your mind begun to adjust and how is your body protesting?
Khushbakht Islam: In reference to the Quarantine, being an artist I am an introvert. Staying at home has always been my kind of thing. But the thought that there are people dying in tremendous amount out there is devastating.
Kristy Cavaretta: I am in the category of people whose day to day life has not changed drastically with the onset of social distancing, I am home most of the day with my three year old and twin one year olds already. My mind can certainly be lulled into a feeling of normalcy, the days are long and chaotic and normal frustrations start to present themselves - (babies not sleeping, toddler not eating, when will my husband be home?)- but then I find myself physically not wanting to get out of bed some mornings and at the end of the days completely exhausted from the stress and extreme emotions continuously playing in the background all the while trying to absorb all of the sadness and negativity from reaching my children. Tears are always at the ready for each joyful birthday car parade or fielded disappointment as I try to help my 3 year old understand why we can't go to the beach or see grandma and grandpa.
Kelli Maeshiro: I feel that my mind was already adjusting to the reality of an epidemic at the beginning of the year because after my residency in New York, I had to fly to Asia in March for my solo show and flights were already becoming a problem in late January. Since I haven’t been home for awhile and am still not, my mind thinks I’m on an extended work trip. But my body physically feels anxious and exhausted, almost depressed even though I still have work to do. The nice part is my process allows me to moderate myself in these trying times. Nonetheless I physically just want to catch the next flight out and go home to my other half but there are no flights available.
Andrea Joyce Heimer: Over the past weeks I have learned to not fight with my feelings. I’m trying to accept that each day, hour, or minute might feel wildly different than the last as my mind swings from headline to headline, headline to quiet place, frustration to calm. My body protests in sleep, however. I can’t get solid footing there, I have been waking up every few hours for weeks. My drawing practice, virtually nonexistent prior to this situation, has become the thing that keeps me from climbing the walls.
Jillian Hagadorn: I was all over the place for the first couple of weeks. I wanted to work but I didn’t want to put others at risk. I wanted to use this time productively to advance my career, or to spend more time with myself, or to complete the piled up projects from months before. I have transitioned through phases like a preteen going through puberty. The work out phase, the self-help phase, the workaholic phase, the virtual crusader phase, the cooking phase, and so many more. Somewhere in there I dropped off the deep end and found moderation. My mind is slow and steady to my discomfort, still restless, but with patience. My body is thankful for the sleep I deprived it of before. I’ve settled in. I’ve surrounded myself with blankets and pillows, my dad’s cooking, and a laptop. It feels good to indulge this way. Forced from my life of go-go-go, I feel more like myself than I have in a while.
Jennifer Shelton: With the extra time that this pandemic has afforded me my mind has been able to slowly process the reality of COVID-19. However, my body continues to twitch and feel restless daily. While my mind feels calmer than at the onset of the pandemic, my fingers still need to be kept busy at all times. Simple tasks like stitching and taking daily walks has helped ease the need to move.
Annie Brito Hodgin: I am mentally getting into the mode of this as the new normal: husband working from home, kids and me here at home, all day every day (unless we escape to the school parking lot to ride bikes). The uncertainty of what will be available at the store. Living in a holding pattern of putting off doctor, dentist, sports, friend and family visits, trips, etc. It's all feeling less alien. But my body won't let me forget how off things are: my sleep schedule is completely blasted. I think my body wants to be awake 20 hours, then sleep 20 hours. I can't seem to get it together.
Lucia Riffel: I don’t really think either have begun to adjust for me yet. Everything is in limbo - my living situation, my studio practice, my job, my life. Covid hit just as I finished up installing a big show after a three month long residency. My mind is scattered and my body is still in travel mode it seems. I hope I can regain a sense of stillness soon.
Lisa Alberts: My mind has finally stopped expecting tomorrow to look any different than today. It has accepted that I need to grieve what we’ve lost and temper expectations for the immediate future. With that I feel simultaneously relieved and depressed. My mind has yet to adjust to what the current world looks like beyond my own yard. Even when I think I have come to terms, something new brings me to tears. My mind says to my body, “relax your shoulders”, yet it doesn’t comply. Every day I move my body. I dance, I stretch, I walk, but it continues to protest. Its objection comes in the form of fatigue, creaky joints, clenched jaw, tight muscles.